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The Word Warehouse

Where books go to get reviewed
Crossed - Ally Condie This book’s ass is grass. And I am the lawnmower.I heard this was a stinker but did I listen and avoid it? Naaaah.This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read in my life. It’s as though the first book in this series was written then there was no clue of what to do next. Yoo hoo, author. Ever hear of an outline? How doth this book sucketh? Let me count the ways:Plot Or lack thereof. Very little actually happens. Basically, beware of anything in this novel with a capital letter. There’s talk about a Society, which must be run by those from the kiddie wading end of the gene pool because they want to find and kill the characters so why not give them nice coats first (with a heater), but without a tracking device. Give me a break woman! They go here and there then decide to go back to here because a river is poisoned. Tra la la. What about a different river? Or a faucet? I somehow doubt that was the only source of water on the planet. Ideas are presented then left to sit and rot.ConceptsThey are mentioned over and over without any explanation. All have capital letters like they are important but in reality they’re as important as lace on a bowling ball. There’s the Pilot. Who is he? Who knows. He could be a 90 year old geezer flying a blimp. Then we have the Rising. It’s not about yeast and dough because apparently it’s an organization. Perhaps they all gather nuts by the light of the full moon for all we know in the book.Writing I’ve heard smarter conversation from plastered drunks at a bar at closing time. Then it’s a good thing the author put the names of whose point of view it is on the chapters, because you would hardly know one from the other. I thought they were recent flashbacks at first. Little inconsequential details merrily sit there and fill up space and get repeated ad infinitum. We get gems like A compass, made of stone...I think, this is good, even though it's heavy. This is good, because it will hold me to the earth. Ooookay, if you say so.CharactersIf a dollar was given to each character for every stupid question they think or ask they could all retire to Florida at the end. If brains were dynamite they couldn’t blow their hats off (Thank you Kurt Vonnegut). To read the story from Cassie’s point of view she loves Ky, who from his point of view couldn’t care less. For all the meaningful interaction here they could each be in a different book. The minor characters have all the impact of a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest.Beam me up Scotty. I want out of this universe.